We all want our homes to be perfect, but the reality is that they are often in a state of disarray. It’s easy to get swept up in Instagram feeds displaying perfectly staged homes and compare ourselves to these unrealistic standards. The truth is that this type of “perfect” home rarely reflects real life, and it’s okay to accept that our houses may not be perfectly organized at all times.

A few years back, Marie Kondo, a decluttering guru, popularized the KonMari method and encouraged people to tidy up their homes. The concept was to give up anything that doesn’t “spark joy” and to keep only items that give you a feeling of happiness. This involves thanking items for their service and discarding all that no longer serve a purpose. While this method has proved to be successful for many people, it can also be difficult and overwhelming – especially for moms who are juggling work, kids and taking care of the home.

My House is Messy – and That’s Okay!

After binge-watching the Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo, I decided to give her method a try. I started off with enthusiasm, but soon I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I felt bad for not being able to sustain the momentum. Here I was feeling sorry for myself, blaming myself for being a bad housekeeper, not being organized or capable of keeping up with the standards set by Marie Kondo.

It didn’t stop there – I was all ashamed and felt sorry for myself at the same time after seeing those picture-perfect houses on Instagram. Why could they do it and why couldn’t I? With my daughter spending more time at home when the pandemic hit, I had even less time and energy for housekeeping. I was afraid of getting judged by others, and I felt like a failure.

But then something shifted – I realized that the more I try hard to achieve perfection, the more stressed I am. I felt guilty because I have unconsciously scolded myself for not being able to do it, and all I needed was a break. I kept getting irritated and mad at my daughter for leaving that toy she was playing with on the floor, or those small lego pieces that she was passionately building a few minutes ago. I started noticing that when I tried to control everything, I felt overwhelmed and exhausted. Those frustrations are also being channeled to my daughter, and this was not the kind of parent I wanted to be.

So, I decided to take a step back and try to let go of the idea that everything needs to be perfect. Clutter is part of life, and it’s okay to have a messy house sometimes. It’s a sign that we are living our lives and creating memories. Embracing imperfection teaches us to be more compassionate with ourselves, and it’s a reminder that life is far from perfect.

I began to understand that my house was never going to be perfect – nor should it have been.

Things I Noticed After Giving Up Perfection at Home

When I decided to give up the idea of having a perfect home, some amazing things happened. Here’s what I noticed:

Less Stress and Guilt

By letting go of perfection, I stopped feeling guilty for not being able to keep everything neat and tidy. My home was still messy at times, but I stopped feeling stressed and overwhelmed. This doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t clean up. I do – and I also do it often. However, I no longer feel that pressure to have my home always look like a magazine cover.

I no longer feel stressed about that cluttered living room during my daughter’s playtime. I no longer have to worry about what other people would think of my home. I no longer think that the scattered pieces of paper, crayons, and books all over the floor show a lack of control. Instead, I see it as a sign that my daughter is actively learning and exploring.

More Quality Time with My Daughter

By letting go of my pursuit of perfection, I was able to focus more on spending quality time with my daughter and creating memories that will last a lifetime. We had more time for meaningful conversations, playing together, and simply enjoying each other’s company.

More Appreciation for What I Have

Letting go of perfection also made me more mindful and appreciative of the things I have. I was able to focus my energy on being present in what I was doing, instead of constantly worrying about cleaning up or organizing something.

I managed to not feel envious of other people’s picture-perfect homes, and instead, I was more grateful for my own house.

Happier Daughter

I noticed that I’m much calmer and happier, and this meant that my daughter was calmer and happier too. She felt free to express herself without the fear of being judged or criticized. I noticed that she can always express herself, through play pretend sessions, or art and craft projects, without feeling that she had to follow certain rules and regulations. She could simply be herself and enjoy her own creativity.

Finally, I was able to show my daughter that it’s okay to make mistakes because they are part of life and learning – something that I am still working on myself. Teaching her to embrace her imperfections and mistakes, and guiding her to find solutions when they arise has been a game-changing experience for both of us.

Peace of Mind

Letting go of perfection has been the best decision I ever made. Not only did it teach me to appreciate what I have and be mindful of my actions, but it also gave me peace of mind. I no longer live with that sense of guilt or pressure to do more or better. While it’s always great to strive for greatness, I’ve understood and embraced the fact that there are certain situations that call for a more laid-back attitude.

It’s been a journey of self-discovery, awareness, and appreciation for life, and it’s a journey that has given me more peace of mind.

My Home is Messy: Final Thoughts

Don’t get me wrong – I still let go of some things that do not spark joy. I declutter every once in a while. I still keep the home clean and organized. However, I no longer let perfectionism dictate the way I live my life or take care of my home.

Overall, I’m thankful that I was able to make this shift in my parenting style and create more meaningful moments with my daughter. I now understand that perfection is not necessary to have an amazing home life – it’s actually more important to prioritize things like connection and quality time over perfection.

I am now okay with the fact that my home is messy sometimes because it’s part of life, the art of it – and that’s what makes a home truly beautiful. The laughter and conversations that take place within its walls are the true testaments of a happy and loving home.

themomtastic

Aine Austria is a content creator, freelancer, entrepreneur, essential oils educator, nacho lover, and mom to an adorable daughter. She helps aspiring mom bloggers and entrepreneurs launch their blog, alongside other money-making opportunities. Aine believes that everyone has a story to tell and that their experiences and talents can be shared with the world.
Aine’s passion for writing and sharing her knowledge with others started at a young age. Growing up, she always loved to read books, write stories, and express herself through words. She strongly believes that moms can still pursue their dreams and passions while raising a family, and she aims to inspire other moms to do the same through her work.