Your Child, Your Rules

A couple of weeks ago, some people gave me unsolicited advice on how I should raise my daughter, and it goes like:

Why are you not giving her formula milk? She’s 27 months! Your breastmilk isn’t enough!

You should let her play by herself.

Don’t do this, don’t do that – and the list goes on.

EDIT: 7 years after publishing this post, I still receive unsolicited advice on how to raise my daughter. But after those 7 years, I’ve learned how to properly deal with it.

You’ve probably been there, right? There comes the point in our motherhood journey where people would tell us what we should do as parents. This is inevitable – no matter who you’re with, where you go, or what you do, someone will always have something to say about your parenting style.

People will always say what they think you should do, but at the end of the day, your child is yours and you make all the decisions.

6 Things on How to Deal with Unsolicited Parenting Advice

Initially, I felt irritated, disappointed, and frustrated to the point that I’m annoyed whenever I get these bits of “helpful” remarks. But now, I do things differently – I take it as a challenge to stand my ground and have the confidence to know that I’m doing the best for my daughter. Instead, here are some things that you can do to deal with unsolicited parenting advice:

Listen

People will always have something to say whether it’s good or bad. Listen to them without getting offended – you don’t have to agree with what they say, but it’s important to listen and understand their point of view.

Again, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to do everything they tell you. It’s about understanding where they’re coming from.

Be Respectful

It’s easier said than done, but it’s important to be respectful even if you don’t agree with them. Sometimes, I find it easier to make a joke or reply with a funny statement. When done right, it can lead to a nice laugh and end the conversation without any hard feelings.

Avoid getting into an argument and always maintain your composure. I’ve been there. The other person has his/her beliefs, and you have yours. Arguing with them won’t change their perspective or make your opinion any more valid. Nothing good will come out of it.

Be polite and courteous – even if you feel that the other person isn’t. Doing so will prevent any further conflict. Don’t agree – but don’t disagree. This is one of the best things that you can do. It worked for me for years, and it still does.

Set Boundaries

Make sure people understand that while their opinions can be appreciated, they do not dictate how you will raise your little one. Being respectful doesn’t necessarily equate to agreeing with them – setting boundaries is necessary to ensure that you stay in control of your parenting decisions.

Setting boundaries means that you know your child best and that you will be the one to make all the decisions for them – no matter what other people say. You can do this by politely reminding them that you are the one in charge, and that their advice is appreciated.

Be Firm

Remember why you’re doing what you’re doing for your child. Stay strong and be firm about your choice. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or inferior because of how you choose to raise your child.

Always have the courage to stand up for your decisions. You know you’re making the right choices for your little one, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Be Confident

This is probably one of the most important tips I can give you – be confident in your parenting style and decisions. You know your child best, and at the end of the day, those feelings you have inside will always be stronger than whatever other people tell you. Don’t second-guess

Trust Your Instincts

At the end of the day, you know what’s best for your child and you should trust your instincts. You don’t need to justify your decisions or explain yourself – just stick with what you think is right.

Remember that no matter how much advice other people give you, they don’t know your child as well as you do. Don’t be afraid to go against the flow and don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not doing enough for your little one.

We know what’s best for our children, and it’s YOUR RESPONSIBILITY as a parent to know what’s good for them. Others can talk all they want, but it’s only you who can mold, discipline, and raise your child the way you wanted them to be. Just have faith in your capabilities as a parent. You can do this!

So, to start off this week, I’d like to leave you with this simple reminder: You don’t have to explain your family’s parenting choices to ANYONE – ever. Your child, your rules. Period, no exceptions.

themomtastic

Aine Austria is a content creator, freelancer, entrepreneur, essential oils educator, nacho lover, and mom to an adorable daughter. She helps aspiring mom bloggers and entrepreneurs launch their blog, alongside other money-making opportunities. Aine believes that everyone has a story to tell and that their experiences and talents can be shared with the world.
Aine’s passion for writing and sharing her knowledge with others started at a young age. Growing up, she always loved to read books, write stories, and express herself through words. She strongly believes that moms can still pursue their dreams and passions while raising a family, and she aims to inspire other moms to do the same through her work.